Confinement 101

March 5th : It's all about perspective – how one perceives things that would change the entire experience. This is my 2nd confinement and boy I must say that I enjoy every waking moment this time around. Why? you may ask. Perspective! The key to enjoying your confinement (CFM) period is basically to REST... rest in God and literally take loads of rest. My last CFM was filled with self-created stress where I refused help and I basically thought I should still do most of the things on my own – despite my mum (who was and is currently also my CFM lady, I’m truly blessed) offering so much help! My perspective then was “no one does it better than myself!” Ok forget the past and allow me to share how you can best enjoy your CFM period : 

1. Like mentioned, REST...REST...REST 

Most CFM lady will tell the mothers to rest their way through CFM, but just how much can you sleep every day right? That was what I thought during my 1st CFM, how can I be sleeping or lying down the whole day? The solution to this is to find something you enjoy doing and doing it on the bed, lying down instead of sitting or other ways. For eg. I enjoy reading Gospel inspired books so I stocked up on books before I delivered Ivan. I look forward to picking up a book to read on the bed this time around. 1stly, I get inspired by the contents in the books and 2ndly I get plenty of rest. At times I even read newspapers & magazines on my bed. Just writing about it now makes me wanna jump right back into my comfortable 6ft fully-latex bed..haha.. 

2. Listen to what the elders say 

Esp. if like me, your mum or mum-in-law (MIL) is your CFM lady. They have been through what we are going through now and it’s best to listen and try to do everything/most of the things that they 'suggest' we do. This helps to prevent nagging and possibly arguments between both parties. During my 1st CFM, I resisted any piece of advice my mum gave me, thinking that it's all 'kolot and not scientifically proven. And whatever that she cooks for me then, I would question here on the ingredients. Sometimes I would refuse to eat because I'm of the opinion that those ingredients would be harmful to my baby since I'm breast feeding (ala, pretend pandai lah me..lan lek) I'm sure my mum was heart broken...sorry mum! Come to think of it, I was really silly. My mum loves me so much, of course she would do & give her best to me & my baby. Why even doubt that? Of course, use your brains also lah... if something causes unrest or make you feel uncomfortable (like not showering for a whole month!) then make your own call. 

3. Open communication 

With your CFM lady/mum/MIL and esp. so with your husband. My 1st CFM was a complete disaster where I spent most of my time arguing with my mum/disagreeing with her methods. Then I had difficulty relating to my hubby esp. during the first few weeks after delivery. All caused by lack of open communication. This time around, I have taken my dad's advice to be more open and to communicate what is on my mind. It's so true...coz if I don't, my mum/hubby wold not know what's on my mind. Things are a lot better this 2nd time, hence I'm enjoying my CFM lah.! 

4. Be open to change 

I was dead set & hard-headedly-adamant that I MUST breast feed my 1st baby. Due to the lack of rest plus not eating well, my supply was very low. By the mid of 2nd month, the 'well' had already dried up!. Also I supplemented Isaac's feed with formula from 2nd week because of the low supply and he was a bit dehydrated from the phototheraphy. This further reduced the supply. By the time the 'well' dried up, I was really upset & disappointed with myself for failing to BF him till at least 6 months. I blamed myself and everyone around (naturally, my mum got the worst of it lah since she was my CFM lady, sorry again mum!) for this failure to give Isaac the best. I almost ended up in post-partum depression (PPD) This 2nd time, I preserved and made sure I have established a good supply before supplementing formula milk to Ivan. Formula was not really needed as supply was sufficient but due to breast milk jaundice (BMJ) we stopped giving him breast milk for the entire 4th week, as advised by Dr. Mary. I was more open to give Ivan formula milk and didn't punish myself as hard for having to stop BF. The learning here is to be open to changes. Even though we gave Isaac formula milk since 2nd month onwards, he grew up to be a healthy kid; far healthier than most breast milk fed babies that I know of. And now he's an active & healthy 1.5 year old toddler. Stop blaming yourself if things do not go the way you've planned – for God has better ways..! And yes stop worrying.. I need to constantly remind myself that too.

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